Phobic
by sirenOJJ
Summary: (Odd Job Jack Slash)(BobbyLeo) Set during Go West, Young Ryder, the episode when the boys go tree planting, Bobby considers his feelings about Leo. And what better time to admit emotions than when Leo is high as a kite?


**(www.oddjobslash.8k.com)  
  
Part 1**: Altered State  
  
Silence was the first thing that struck him when he arrived in the clearing. So unlike the city, the only noise that could be heard for miles in the woods was the low buzz of cicada beetles. Bobby lay in the clearing, staring up at the clear blue sky, marvelling at how far he could see above him without the smog he was so accustomed to.   
He was glad his friends had ventured out of the city with him.   
_Well, one friend in particular_. Bobby grinned to himself and shook his head, returning to his surroundings in time to see Jack approach.   
Got any bug spray to spare? Jack pulled Bobby bodily off the ground. We have to keep planting. He slapped the back of his neck. But these black flies are insane.   
Bobby shook his head, wincing at the sight of the cloud of flies that surrounded Jacks head. Nope, Leo's hoarded our supply of Deet. He turned to Jack, dusting himself off, and smirked at Jack's woodland ensemble, complete with saddlebags full of saplings ready for planting. Hey, where'd you get the whistle?  
Jack shrugged, and explained that it was used to get the other camper's attention in case of emergency.   
Bobby balked, glancing over his shoulder. The woods seemed suddenly sinister. What sort of danger do you expect is here?   
Already annoyed and still swatting at flies, Jack rolled his eyes. What do I know? Mountain lions, evil fairies, bears?   
Swallowing hard, Bobby looked around with increasing anxiety. Oh my.   
Exasperated, Jack swatted frantically around him. I've got to find Leo, he grated, and trotted off, the flies following in tow.   
I'm coming with you! Bobby exclaimed. _Too quickly_, he thought to himself, but reasoned that the innuendo was probably the least of Jack's worries. Just to be sure, he quickly changed the subject. I don't have a clue what I would do if I came across a bear   
Jack slowed his pace as they began to climb over the hill that surrounded the campsite. Running away screaming seems to be the popular defence.   
I suppose you won't be majoring in zoology. Bobby replied, laughing.   
The two spoke easily, covering the distance back to the camp grounds quickly. They approached Leo's tent, Jack looking impatient, and Bobby lagging behind.   
Leo greeted them with his usual sales pitch, and Jack jumped in to demand repellent. Glancing between the two other boys, Bobby smiled sadly.   
_I wish I could just hang out with him like Jack and I do. It's always so awkward when I'm alone with Leo._ He continued to linger a short distance away, casting furtive glances at his friend. _If only I could lure him out to do something. But he hates hiking, he can't swim, there's just no excuse_ Then an idea occurred to Bobby. He walked up to join the conversation, sporting his usual contagious smile.   
You should get really outside more, Leo. He grinned all the more at Leo's unamused glare, and continued, I've seen all sorts of wild mushrooms in the hills that I'm sure you'd find fascinating.   
Bobby couldn't imagine better bait to get Leo to walk with him. At best hed have the afternoon alone with Leo in the secluded forest, at worst, Leo would simply tell Bobby to go get them by himself and theyd spend the day in Leo's tent drinking mushroom tea. Either way, he had a reason to spend hours with the other boy.   
But Leo's reaction was beyond anything Bobby could have fathomed: before the proposition had barely left Bobby's lips, before Leo was sprinting across the vale, his form swiftly vanishing into the far parapet of pines.   
For several moments, Jack and Bobby simply stared at the now empty bee-line Leo had taken to the forest.  
Well, that was unexpected, Jack announced, and turned to Bobby. But like I said, we should get planting.   
Bobby looked at him incredulously. Shouldn't we go after him? He's never been out of the city, either.  
Jack shrugged. Ahh, a bit of outdoors won't kill him.   
Bobby wasn't so sure, especially when hallucinogens were growing densely just over the dell. But Jack was already meandering in the opposite direction, not particularly worrying over Leo's unexpected departure.   
_Then I shouldn't worry either_, Bobby thought. Slowly, he followed Jack, glancing over his shoulder toward the end of the clearing until they had passed over the cusp of the hill and it was no longer visible.   
  
  
  
  
  
That evening, Leo didn't return to his tent. Bobby was aware of this, having been perched on one of the logs that littered the camp grounds, watching the comings and goings of the other campers. He told himself he wasn't venturing out to continue planting or simply explore because he had to make sure Leo got back.   
_He'll be back at any minute. I'll give him another half hour, then I'll go look for him._   
But under the bravado, frequent flashes of guilty honesty assailed him. Bobby knew he was afraid of the forest.   
The fear had crept up on him unexpectedly. The seed of apprehension was planted when Jack mentioned the predators of the woods. Now the foreboding Bobby felt grew with every unfamiliar sound -which was every wilderness intonation- with every strange shadow moving just behind the cover of leaves, with the horrible knowledge that there was no way to defend himself against a carnivorous animal With each passing minute the dread consumed Bobby.   
  
  
  
  
  
When dusk settled over the campsite, Jack and the others slowly returned from their day's excursions.   
Hey, Bobby. Jack walked up, straining to put down the bags holding remaining saplings. Have you been here since this afternoon? He stretched his back, wincing.   
Bobby nodded, glancing over his shoulder into the murky half light.   
Any sign of Leo? As calm as he'd been about his friend's disappearance earlier, Jack looked as if he was starting to worry.   
Well, I'm sure he'll turn up But I haven't seen him, Bobby admitted.   
Jack nodded, his brows furrowed. Maybe we should we go look for him?   
It's not really even fully dark yet, Bobby cut in. He rubbed his hands together out of nerves. Maybe we could give him a few more hours. He's bound to come back to sleep, right?   
Nodding, Jack slapped Bobby good-naturedly on the back. Hoping the bears will take care of him for you, huh?   
Bobby looked alarmed. No- no. Of course not!   
Jack put up his hands, surprised at Bobby's abrupt answer. I'm just kidding. We'll look in a couple of hours if we don't see signs of him still being alive by then. He grinned.   
Bobby tried to grin back, but could only manage a grimace. _Why am I being such an idiot about this?_   
Here, help me build the fires, Jack called over his shoulder, heading to the burnt out pits from the night before.   
Jack kicked sticks toward the first pit, wary of bending over and straining his back again after the hard work of planting all day. Bobby crouched at the edge of the ring of rocks and stacked the wood into a pyre, avoiding venturing into the woods for kindling under the pretence of doing the back-breaking work for Jack. Hey, you know I was kidding about Leo getting eaten by something, Jack said quietly when he returned with another pile of branches.   
Bobby nodded. Yeah, I know.   
Just checking. You're pretty antsy lately. Jack kindled a match and lit the fire in silence before looking over at Bobby. You guys don't get along too well, do you?   
Me and Leo?   
Yeah. I guess it was pretty dumb of me to invite the two of you, but what can I say. You're both my friends and I wanted us all to suffer equally. He smiled a bit as he prodded the kindling with a stick.   
I don't hate him! Bobby snapped to the defensive, realising what Jack was implying.   
Jeez, Bobby. It's okay if you do. I had this feeling when I introduced you two That you probably wouldn't get along.   
Bobby was silent. For somebody aspiring to be a sociologist, Jack's observations were far from the truth. He's a lot different than me, Bobby responded vaguely, trying to reassure Jack without saying anything too complimentary to Leo. _That's probably why he thinks I hate him._   
Jack laughed easily, completely unaware of Bobbys struggle. I noticed. He motioned to the woods. I was hoping this would be a sort of bridge. I knew you'd both hate it, and nothing unites people like a common hatred. He winked.   
Bobby stared at Jack in disbelief, and couldn't help but laugh. That's morbid!   
Nah, it's a sociological technique.   
  
  
  
  
  
Hours passed since the other campers had retired. Earlier in the evening they had heard Leo literally howling at the moon, so Jack had agreed that there wasn't a need to search for him.   
Now, laying in his tent, wide awake, surrounded by the night time sounds of the forest, Bobby regretted that decision. The chance that something would happen to Leo made his own fears all the more acute. The batteries in the Diskman he'd been depending on for peace of mind had died hours ago, leaving him to startle into full awareness every time the leaves near his tent crunched.   
He had taken to telling himself it wasn't man eating bears, or cougars, instead choosing to believe Leo was probably still wandering around near the camp site. And each time, after recovering from his jitters, he would sit up and peer out into the shadows, too shy to call out to Leo, but hoping to catch a glimpse of him. He's got to eat something other than mushrooms once and a while. Bobby reasoned scornfully. But he had to admit, he was more than slightly impressed with Leo's transformation.   
Bobby's own changes were far less encouraging. He frowned, for the first time really absorbing the degree of his fear, realizing that he had been staring at the same overhead tarp for days.   
Bobby had never been afraid in the city. Muggers didn't terrify him, gangs he didn't bat an eye at. But now he was holed up in his tent, the idea of leaving turning his stomach to knots.   
_I know how Leo used to feel_, he thought morosely, and the notion of going out to find the other boy again surfaced. He sat up and readied to leave, but his progress slowed as he neared the tent flap. To the left, a branch snapped, and Bobby immediately recoiled from the exit, his breath hitched. He waited, his heart pounding. He tried to exhale as quietly as possible, ready for something to come crashing inside at any moment.   
But nothing happened: nothing tore his tent apart, nothing loomed in shadow outside.   
_I know exactly how he felt_. Bobby's hand again went to rest on tent's zipper. He was torn between braving the woods to find Leo, and staying at the site, breaking into a sweat every time coyotes howled. The decision seemed simple enough.   
But what if there IS something out there. The logical part of his mind -the half that wasn't trembling in fear at the unknown, at the plethora of what-ifs that could happen should he leave the tent- told him that facing actual danger was far better than cowering in fear of something that wasn't real.   
Maybe it was the shame of being the token coward, or perhaps an emotion stronger than pride, but in a moment Bobby was out of his tent and stalking away from the fire-lit clearing.   
  
  
  
  
  
The trees soon became so dense that Bobby had to slow his pace and carefully pick through the undergrowth and tumult of roots. He had made good time so far, with little apprehension, but slowing down only made him more aware of his surroundings. He looked to and fro quickly. In the cerulean nighttime light shadows seemed to move, to leap out in front of him. He stopped for a moment, listening. The woods were quiet; he was far enough from the camp site that the din of the other campers had faded away.   
He hazarded a call. Hey, Trench, you out here? But his voice was buffered by the thick fur trees. He doubted he would find Leo at all, and turned to circle the campsite, impatient to return to the shelter of his tent.   
Parting away branches from the hedgerow of pines, Bobby was just about to slip through to a clearer path when something leaped through the foliage and ran smack into him.   
Bobby would have screamed in fear if he hadn't had the wind knocked out of him. Instead he wheezed and prayed that the next few moments of his life wouldn't be spent being torn limb from limb.   
  
He looked up mid-prayer. _Oh thank you god!_ Bobby breathed.   
Leo was peering down at him through a mask of tribal paint. He offered a hand to Bobby, who took it and picked himself up off the ground.   
You scared the heck out of me, Bobby admitted.   
There's nothing to fear in the forest! Leo responded, staring wide-eyed at Bobby.   
Bobby smiled uneasily. Um. Right. He glanced down at the basket of fungi his friend was toting around. Are you really sure you should be eating those?   
But Leo wasn't paying attention. He threw an arm carelessly over Bobby's shoulders and began walking. You know, this place is great. We should come back every year.   
Bobby started at the unexpected gesture, barely hearing Leos words over the pounding of his heart. he managed to say, trying his best not hyperventilate at the close contact. He could feel his cheeks heat as he dared to slip his own arm around Leo's waist. But his friend was now detailing the strong points of living amongst the animals, and if he noticed Bobby's motion at all, he didn't seem perturbed. Bobby took a deep breath, encouraged by how easily close his friend was being. Leo had never been one for a tactile friendship, but Jack had been right, he certainly was changed- though Bobby hoped the fondness for nature wasn't permanent.   
Where are we going? He asked.   
Leo nodded toward the end of the clearing.   
  
  
  
  
  
The two walked in silence. Bobby felt uneasy, as if he should say something, or do something, but he told himself to count his blessings, and remained quiet until they reached the far border of trees. Bobby halted before the wall of vegetation, reluctant to cross and relinquish his hold on Leo. He watched his friend for any hesitation to let go, but the other boy easily slipped away and through the trees. After a moment alone in the clearing, Bobby scrambled to follow, wary of losing track of Leo again.   
As Bobby stumbled out into the sandy turf beyond the grove, Leo was waiting patiently. Or rather, staring owlishly at the water that ringed the gentle incline of the hill. Now that Bobby was following, he continued his progress down the sandy embankment and walked to the water's edge.   
Tired from the unfamiliar terrain, Bobby sat down on a dry strip of sand and rested his back against a beached log. After a moment Leo looked away from the lake and noticed Bobby sitting; he followed suit, flopping down beside the other boy.   
Bobby faced the darkened waters that lapped quietly at the shore, a picture of tranquility. But inside, Bobby's mind was racing. He couldn't place the vibe he was getting from Leo, he felt encouraged, but was too unsure about the other's state of mind to be sure of anything. So he simply stared wordlessly forward, hoping Leo would break the silence that was making Bobby's chest hurt with anxiety.   
He glanced furtively at his friend, but balked when he found Leo was staring intently at him once again. Let's go swimming, Leo said in all seriousness.   
Squinting at him, Bobby tried to gauge how beyond his faculties Leo was. Wide-eyed, sporting tattered clothes, native jewellery, self-applied war paint, and with leaves haphazardly stuck in his spiky hair, Leo looked the very picture of lunacy.   
Bobby worried. I didn't think you could swim. He cleared his throat. He picked his brain for something that would stop Leo from drowning himself in his frenzied love of nature. Besides! I brought Schnapps. He fished around in his hoodie, presently producing the bottle. A toast to this crazy wilderness of yours, he said, raising the bottle to Leo.   
Easily distracted, Leo took a swig from the bottle and handed it back to Bobby, who also took a healthy portion.   
He wiped his mouth. After a moment letting the Schnapps warm him and give him the resolution to speak again, Bobby turned to his friend. Hey, Leo. He paused, mulling over his words. When are you going to come back to camp?   
Leo pointed dramatically to the forest. Never! I'm one with the land now.   
Maybe it was drinking on an empty stomach, maybe it was the sheer audacity of the comment considering who said it, but Bobby couldn't help but laugh. You really are out of your mind. He handed the bottle back to Leo. . But it's doing you good, I guess. So long as you let us take you back, he said, half expecting Leo to retort with one of his usual snide remarks.   
Instead Leo looked over at Bobby curiously. You'd miss me?   
Ah- well. Bobby stuttered, surprised by the candid question. Well, sure.   
I wondered about that. Leo seemed to think aloud, completely honest. I always thought you guys hung around for the free cable.   
Bobby was taken back by the uncharacteristic openness. You think about that sort of stuff?   
He and Leo were looking at each other steadily now, the latter completely at ease. Sure I do.   
Bobby couldn't look him in the eye very long. He kept glancing around, and wondered how evident it was that he was blushing.   
It's hard to tell sometimes. Bobby laughed nervously. As he took another swig of Schnapps, he felt rather light headed, and suddenly wondered how aware Leo was or if he was completely beyond logic. Considering Leos sudden change in attitude, Bobby was sceptical about him being cognizant of his actions. A realization struck Bobby.   
His heart quickened as he looked at Leo more steadily. Given how high he probably was, there was a small chance Leo wouldn't remember this once he was sober and back in the city. Bobby inched forward, watching Leo's reaction carefully. The other boy seemed to still be studying him, or perhaps didn't see him at all.   
Taking another drink, riding on the courage of alcohol and adrenaline, Bobby turned completely to face Leo and put his hands on top of the other boy's, leaning close.   
_If Leo moves away_, he thought to himself half-heartedly, _I'll just make a joke out of this_.   
But Leo didn't move away.   
Bobby swallowed, shut his eyes, and closed the small gap that remained between them. He felt Leo's lips against his own, warm and unresisting, but not reacting either.   
Bobby moved against him, sliding one of his hands onto Leo's thigh, fishing for a reaction, either positive or negative. But Leo didn't seem to notice Bobby's ministrations at all. Bobby curled his free arm around Leo's waste, intently locking his lips to the other boy's.  
_Nothing._   
Bobby was just pulling away in defeat when Leo gradually tilted his head, pressing forward. His arms encircled Bobby's waste just as tentatively.   
Bobby's heart skipped a beat as he returned the gesture. Feeling the real contact, the heat of the other boy against him, he was giddy with glee at having his wishes granted. He ran his tongue over Leo's lips, opening his mouth slightly.   
After a moment, Leo did the same, mimicking his movements. Bobby ran one of his hands up to cradle Leo's jaw, coaxing him to open his mouth further.   
Finding that Leo's hesitance seemed to be entirely from not knowing what to do and not from unwillingness, Bobby took it slow, giving Leo time to copy what Bobby himself was doing. He gently let the tip of his tongue touch Leo's, deepening the kiss. The other boy did the same, sidling forward so that his chest was pressed against Bobby's.   
Bobby moved his arms up under Leo's shirt, pressing skin to skin. He could feel his friend's heartbeat against his chest. He wondered if Leo noticed how rapid his own was. The heat of Leo's skin against his own had Bobby's heart racing with the notion of what could be.   
He was about to move to straddle Leo's lap, intent on being as close as possible to the other boy, but a loud crack resonated over the shoreline.   
They broke apart, Bobby looking around in fear. What was that-   
But his question was quickly answered, as George, the guide, exited the woods and strode over. Jack said you were missing. He looked around. What were you doing out here?   
Bobby was now certain he was visibly blushing. He turned to Leo with a guilty expression, but stopped. The other boy was nowhere to be seen.   
I um Bobby sighed, slightly disappointed but also relieved that they hadn't been caught. I just needed a walk. He stood up and brushed the sand off the backs of his legs.   
  
  
  
  
  
The following evening, Bobby couldn't help but feel anxious. He had witnessed both his friends returning from what Jack touted as a man to bear fight with the King of the Forest. Bobby found it easy to joke along with this, commending Jack on his victory, thanking him for making the forest safe again. What made Bobby uneasy was Leo's less triumphant return. He had trudged back in Jack's shadow, defeated, covered in bug bites, and worst of all, stone cold sober.   
Mother nature's a harsh mistress, he grumbled. I hate her. And proceeded to shut himself in his tent for the duration of the night's festivities.   
Bobby was more than slightly tempted to go console him, but the possibility that Leo remembered, that Leo was humiliated by what he had done the previous night, and the fear of being rejected, all made Bobby stay and attempt to enjoy the party.   
The night was warm like the previous, and the fires they lit were mainly for atmosphere. If Bobby didn't care so much for his friends, he would have sat brooding, staring into the flames.   
Instead, he forced himself to grin and bear it. He laughed along with Jack, who was retelling his triumphant victory yet again to the twins, who were nodding encouragingly. Periodically one would break away from the crowd to ask Bobby if Jack was free.   
It made Bobby more miserable than he would ever let on.   
Sure he is, he would assure them.   
Go for it, man, he would tell Jack.   
_ I can't stand this_, he would think.   
And he would smile, because he knew it was a great façade, and it was what Jack would expect. The last thing Bobby wanted to do was spoil his evening of triumph, so he played along.   
  
  
  
  
  
Only when the party had died down -Jack had retired with Karyn and Sharyn, George had long since gone to sleep, and the fires were burning low- did Bobby dare to approach Leo's tent.   
He stopped before it, unsure. He could see a lantern still burning within, so gathering his courage, he leaned forward.   
Hey, Leo, can I come in?   
Leo mumbled something that seemed as close to a positive response as he ever came, so Bobby ducked inside.   
In the dim orange glow of the lamp, Leo was sitting cross-legged, shirtless, applying cream to his numerous stings. Bobby knelt near the door, which he felt was a discrete distance, and concentrated on staring intently at the ground.   
Hey- h-how are you feeling? He risked a glance up at Leos topless form, but looked away before the other boy could notice.   
Leo slumped further forward, dabbing at his shoulders. He spat.   
Bobby hesitated, blushing at his own forwardness. Want me to get your back?   
In the few seconds of silence that followed, Bobby braced himself for the worse.   
No. Leo glanced over at Bobby, frowning. Thanks.   
_He remembers_, Bobby thought, and looked away shamefully. He lingered for a few moments more, hoping that Leo would start up conversation, hoping he would have an excuse to remain near the other boy, even if it meant nothing to Leo.   
But there was simply a heavy silence, and after some time, Bobby got up and walked out. He glanced back once, but Leo wasn't looking at him.   
  
  
  
  
  
Part 2 


End file.
